Clash Of The Titans

The remake of "Clash of the Titans" takes a film that wasn't really all that good to begin with and manages to make it considerably worse. This big budget remake manages to suffer by comparison not only with the original, but even with the recent teen adventure series "Percy Jackson."

He's the son of zeus, but when we first meet him as a baby, he rises up from the depths of sea in a wooden box.
Which made me wonder, isn't this really poseideon's territory?
he grows up the son of a human fisherman until the soldiers of argos anger the gods, and hades (an embarassed looking ralph fieness who speaks like he's got a cough drop stuck in his throat) smashes the family boat and kills his entire family.
Liam neeson manages to look sillier and even more ashamed of his participation in what is clearly brainless schlock than sir laurence olivier famously felt about his role in the original. and ralph fiennes doesn't fare any better as hades.

Sam Worthington takes on the role of persius. Only instead of harry hamlin's bewildered pretty boy, worthington plays him as a petulent brat. he spends most of the movie denying the gifts the gods have given him, only delaying the inevitible because we all know he's going to use that magic sword and pegaseus eventually.

The script is a cliche o'matic that seems like it could have written by a computer. everyone speaks as though their next line could be a cathphrase. But the film is essentially a trip through the special effects department. but they don't add up to much either. Most of the monsters are just a big nebulous blob of scales and noise that are hard to really make out and don't have much personality and there's nothing to really dazzle or frighten us. The kraken's big finale manages to be a success almost by default because it's not quite as ineptly staged and directed as the others.

this film fails in almost every way. it doesn't work as a loving tribute to the original because the film makers don't bother to get the details right. For example, in the original the scorpions appear after calibous pierces a bag with the head of medusa inside and her blood spills on the ground. Here calibous' own blood causes the scorpions to go nuts. but in the next scene they've inexplicably been tamed into playful pachyderms.